I am puke
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
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dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
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The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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