69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize