Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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