Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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