i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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