Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
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It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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