I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize