Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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