South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ATM looks so different sober.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize