my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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