you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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