new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize