we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
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