"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize