I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize