There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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