3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize