he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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