there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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