I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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