I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Small penises have feelings too.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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