Im at strip club and am horny
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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