So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
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We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
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every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
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