sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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