Will you blow on my dice?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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