Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
As shirtless as possible
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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