Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Everyone says I win the strip club
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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