Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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