ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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