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the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
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