i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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