I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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