I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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