hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We had sex on a dog bed..
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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