In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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