He asked to "fluff my boner.."
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize