You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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