This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize