So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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