Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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