we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
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