Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he shaved USA in his pubs
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
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I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
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Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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