Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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