At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
How naked do you want me to be?
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