That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
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This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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