i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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