He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize