i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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