You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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