is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
only if we run a train.
done.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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